Chilled Vodka

I wrote this some time ago, but the truth of the emotions that gave birth to this poem still hold true for me in MANY ways...ahhh. Being a Mother isn't always an easy thing, neither is letting go. 

Its tears for me tonight

Chased with the chilled vodka

It warms me so

Breathing has never been so hard

As I sit here enveloped

In my misery

My own mind

Feeling useless

Not needed

Trying to feel nothing

Failing at that too

The stupid cat

Is chasing the dog again

They look at me after a moment

Stopping the race

I didn’t yell or laugh

I can’t believe they noticed

Crazy animals in my life

Like the grown children

That I don’t know how to do without

As they run headlong into life

And I can’t protect them anymore

Will never love them less

For leaving me behind

Those people that I miss

Those that I have longed for

Seem so distant and cold

Stars that I can never touch

Never hold again

I am aging, not gracefully

Not that I care now

There is nothing to prove

To anyone anymore

I did everything I could

Gave all I had left

For this

Empty house

And the tears

Chased by the chilled vodka

That warms me now